Saturday morning I woke up and everything was normal. I was helping to host my sister-in-law, Katie's baby shower. I did recognize that I was a little short of breath, but sometimes I get like that while pregnant and when I'm running around and talking to a lot of people, so I didn't think too much about it.
Katie started opening presents a little after 11, and I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. I was alarmed, but I decided to keep it cool until the end of the shower and then make a decision. When Katie finished opening gifts about 20 minutes later, I stood up to thank everyone for coming and felt blood gush down. I hurried to to the bathroom and knew that whatever was happening was not normal. I have never bled so much, so I was sure I was miscarrying. Ben was working, so I called him, and we decided to meet at the e.r. My mom drove me to meet him.
I continue to bleed quite a bit when we arrived at the hospital at 1:15. We never got taken to a room until 3, and once we were in the room, they did a bunch of procedures that told me nothing. They took my urine culture, left forever, took my blood, left forever, hooked me up to an IV to give me fluids, left forever, tried to find a heartbeat on a doppler but could't (I didn't expect them to- I was sure I had miscarried, and with all of the time to think about it and prepare myself, I was ready for the news). Honestly, as I think about my time in the hospital, I feel so thankful for the incredible amount of trust in the Lord I had. He filled me with a peace and I remained really calm and trusting the whole time. I knew this baby was a blessing and that I did not deserve it, and I knew that if I lost it that it would be hard but that God would sustain me. I also felt incredibly thankful for the two girls I have because thinking about going home to them was comforting.
The doctor came back in and did a pelvic exam. He said it was closed (which was good) but that it looked like it could be opening (which was not good). Finally, the ultrasound tech came in around 6pm, and she did an abdominal ultrasound with the screen facing away from me. At one point I thought she played the baby's heartbeat, but I told myself not to get my hopes up. I was sure it was just my heartbeat. Then she pushed really hard and I thought I felt a little kick, but my stomach was doing all kinds of crazy things that day that I didn't trust anything I felt. Finally after about 15 minutes of doing the ultrasound without saying anything, the tech said, "So have you been feeling a lot of movement?" The question was odd to me and I was completely unsure of how to respond. I said, "No... I mean, not before today. Should I?... I mean, is there a heartbeat?" And she said YES! I was so completely shocked. For seven hours, I was sure I had lost our baby, so to hear that there was a living baby inside of me was a complete shock. She told me the baby was really active. I asked her why I was bleeding so much, and she didn't know.
After she left, the doctor came back in and said that they call it a "threatened miscarriage" but really couldn't tell me anything more. He told me to see my midwife on Monday. And then we left. I called my midwife in Missouri on Sunday because I didn't like the lack of info from the e.r. doctor, and she said it is called a placenta abruption. She told me to take it really easy and gave me a list of vitamins to take. She said that it is serious, but that if I follow her recommendations, I should be able to carry to full term and have a healthy baby.
Yesterday (Monday), I went to my midwife's office in Indiana, and they found the heartbeat on the doppler (it was 175), and the baby was active and kicking the doppler. I will go back next thursday for an ultrasound, and if all looks good, I will be cleared to resume normal activities.
I'm no longer allowed to deliver at the birth center which is a huge bummer for me. After having two completely normal pregnancies, it's frustrating to have my body fail me in this way this time. But overall, we are praising God for a living baby. We are reminded to never take this baby for granted, and we are reminded that God is the giver and taker of life and that he has been good to us to give us this life.